chobbing.

I'm pretty sure I could be content if my primary occupation in life would be chopping things. Maybe I should become a wood chopper. Maybe I am thinking on a slightly smaller scale.

Have you ever realized how delightful it is to chop things with a really, really sharp knife? Oh my. I could do it all day long. And I'm not even fast. So you see that my chopping adoration is not because I am good at it- it is purely because it is so fun.

There is some innate sense within me that demands I do things in the longest, most drawn out, detailed, all-or-nothing way. Like bread. I tell people I bake bread, and they come right back with, "Oh, so you have a breadmaker!" Uh... well, I am the breadmaker. See these two hands..? These hands were made to make bread. They get so happy when they make bread. Trust me. So I make bread that takes like 4 days to complete, and love every moment of that half a week which crawls by at a snail's pace. Ok, I kind of hate waiting. But it is worth it. Obvsies.

I get this sort of weird guilt complex when I make things that aren't from scratch. The other night, my brother and I made indian food. I bought tikka masala in a jar. I could have so easily made it. I did want to try the jar stuff, I guess. But we made naan from scratch. Mmm. Next time it'll all be from scratch. Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins!

This morning I was enlisted to help put together a catered lunch. I made the pasta salad. It was just a bunch of stuff thrown together, but it turned out all right. It is so much more fun to be involved with food service when you are actually somewhat involved with the food. It is still service, of course, but more exciting. Especially when your opinion matters.

I do not believe I shall ever own or operate a restaurant. I have been employed at a restaurant for 42% of my life. I've never worked full time.. but still. Forty-two percent of my life. I will never own a restaurant. People automatically assume that if a person likes to cook, they ought to start a restaurant. No way, man. Not this girl. Restaurants are cool and stuff, but never my own. Owning a restaurant can be compared to having a large ball and chain affixed to your ankle. So can owning a dairy farm. So can having pets. I would be fine with never experiencing any of those options. I could be very ok with being friends with someone who had an exceptionally cute bird who I sometimes saw. That could be ok. Or a goat farmer. That could also be ok. But friends. Not me. Just cause.

Anyway, back to chopping and kneading. You know how some people really don't care what their food tastes like? Like, they smother it in ketchup? When you chop it and knead it [gently, of course] yourself, you know what goes into your food. And that makes you appreciate it more, because it tastes better, because it IS better. Because no freezer section at a gargantuan food seller chopped your vegetables! Ha! You did! You may have even picked them from your garden before you chopped them. Oh my. Garden produce also gets me excited. Because seriously.. you planted a seed and watered it and the sun shone and the beanstalk arose! Mir-a-cu-lous.

This summer, we are pretty much plowing up our whole backyard and making The Biggest Garden Ever on a town lot. It is primarily because of our lack of trees. Our backyard was the best kind of shady around. Due to some fairly intense weather last summer, all but one of our big trees cracked/split/fell on the roof/were chopped down. We have one lone tree [and one lone stump, and a lot of mulch], whose lowest branches are higher than the chimneypiece. Hello, suntan city. And hello, garden. Can you envision it yet? Early morning rays of sunlight blasting through our backyard as we the chosen still-living-at-home ones toil and labor, under the tender shelter of large straw hats, to pick our rice from the paddies.. I mean weed the beans. Hello, glorious.

Wait a second.. where are the squirrels even living? All their habitats have been chopped down. CHOPPING you are so nice but so brutal. That is why you must chop with a very sharp knife. No chainsaws on my mushrooms, please. You know what I am going to watch soon on my brother's netflix account? The Imax movie about beavers. Talk about chopping pros!

So anyways, it's like 52 degrees outside. I have already spent a good portion of my day either chopping or thinking about chopping or writing about chopping, or testing a bit of what I chopped [summer rolls for lunch]. Tonight my brother [with whom I often cook exotic things] and I are making some [s]Wagamama. Which involves pretty much like 95% chopping, and the rest WOKing. Caaan't wait.