i wish.

Make yourselves nests of pleasant thoughts, bright fancies, faithful sayings; treasure-houses of precious and restful thoughts, which care cannot disturb nor poverty take away from you, houses built without hands for your souls to live in.

i wish i was one of those cool blog-about-your-creative-home-business type bloggers, who spend part of every day making beautiful crafty things, and finding beautiful crafty by-other-hands-made things online, and sharing them with creative consumers world[wide-web]-wide; who end every last day of the workday week with "happy weekend!" or some other such enthusiastic phrase denoting that whilst pretty things are a dream to work with, the real dream of fun and relaxation begins with the final "publish post" of the week; and who happen to live in real-life-fairy-tale homes that just happen to be in trendy locations on either coast, or across an ocean, containing personality-reflecting bits and pieces of color and texture and pattern and light that'll make magazines look expensive, enervated, everyday.

i wish i was a writer who wrote long run-on sentences too.

but you know, i don't wish to make profit from things which are purely for the enjoyment of dear friends or family, or which are purely meant to make my own life more lovely or enjoyable. perhaps that resolution sounds a bit egocentric upon first thought - "what! she tries to please herself?!" - but i think not, at least not unordinarily so [for whether we like it or not, we each make our lives what we wish it to be]; should it not be considered far more selfish to only create because creativity is in vogue, and pays munificently? perhaps in another's case the objective is different; perhaps such dedicated blogging/creating superwomen abound in creative gifts and ample time, and rejoice in making other homes as charming and unique as their own, and benefit financially thereby. i say this not to discourage creativity at large [on the contrary!], or to demand or even request that selling be stopped nor prices be lowered - for i believe that hard work ought to be honestly and fairly remunerated - but simply to look at my own motives in creativeness in general, and the selling thereof in particular.

i will probably never get my own living by making music or painting pictures or sewing bags or probably even writing books. perhaps i could, but i wouldn't necessarily want to. we live in a day in age when everyone seeks to make a profit some way or another, and understandably so, given the world financial outlook; natural giftings and tendencies certainly give reason to seek profit thereby. i think the greatest underlying reason for this inner resolve is that by marketing creativity, one has to submit to certain standards of trend, and overall salability. is it popular? then it will sell. is it "sub-par" or "over-the-top"? then your business might go bust. i am by all means a part of the world in which i live, but i choose not to submit my personal measure of success based on submission to popular standards. it just doesn't seem honest. do what you do best in the best and most productive way possible, for the right reasons and convictions, and because you are constrained to do so as a creative, created being and to the glory of your very own personal Creator [whether you acknowledge Him or not]. like something because you like it, because it's lovely or true, because it inspires thought and not mindless allegiance. do something because you like it, because you choose to, because it uses your mind, because it’s noble and let not the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches make you personally unfruitful or ensnared. bear much, good, lasting fruit. and enjoy the life you have.

that being said, happy weekend.