snowy thoughts.

winter makes me:
a. sleepy
b. want to go ice skating
c. want to wear all of my scarves at once
c2. wear only one of them, usually, due to practicality and/or circulation
d. want to bake something really complex
e. want to eat what i just baked
f. have a headache after i ate what i baked
g. decide that i dislike headaches
h. decide that i will, nevertheless, continue to bake
i. decide that i will, however, discontinue use of sugar
j. get excited about waking up to open my windows to see the new frost designs on them
k. happy to see the sun
l. want to grow sprouts
m. thankful for long hair
n. want to chop my hair off
o. really love cranberry everything
p. MISS MY BIKE
q. want to knit
r. want to create anything and everything
s. want to stay inside on a horribly precipitous evening
t. want to go outside on a blindingly white day
u. want to speak german
v. correspondence-y
w. musically appreciative
x. voracious about books
y. adventurous about tea
z. appreciative about mittens
aa. apprehensive about travel
aa2. specifically apprehensive about air travel and layovers
bb. crave the orchestra
bb2. think about popovers
cc. miss the french riviera
dd. want to speak french
ee. excited to have a cousin possibly moving to france, whom i shall indubitably visit
ff. want to get really dressed up
gg. excited when i don't wear sweatpants
hh. thankful for hoods
ii. want to see mountains
jj. have a frozen nose
kk. go back to the thrift store repeatedly although i have already found all the finds to be found
ll. take extreme delight in home decor magazines
mm. miss wearing shoes with on-purpose holes in them
nn. not miss wearing shoes with not-on-purpose holes in them
oo. crave vegetables
pp. glad that i don't have cows to milk
qq. drink less coffee than in the summer [well, this winter anyway]
rr. feel like i need to have just arrived home after several months abroad
ss. glad to have a brief reprieve from the weather next week
tt. put my christmas ornaments on the tree
uu. include burrowing in my daily actions
vv. think i'm tan until i see people who actually are
ww. think of all the movies i'd like to rewatch
xx. love the colors of the landscape
xx2. love pretty much anything tastefully white
yy. interested in reading philosophy and theology and foreign books, also in good taste
zz. overall, glad.
zz2. overall, glad that it makes me glad and not sad!

xo/a.
ps. the picture just makes me happy, without relating to the topic at hand. they're viennese palace ducks.

grace like salt.

i don't really know what to think or how to act today; it's throwing more than myself for a loop. nevertheless, i am blessed.

probably the best thing i got for christmas was an answered prayer. you know how you pray and pray and pray for a certain thing that is sort of looming over your head, but still remains a long way off, and kind of scares, worries, or at least concerns you? it was one of those.

namely: trying to find housing in the 2nd most expensive market in the world, from several thousand miles hence. you probably can imagine, if you don't already know, that i am to be a supported missionary when i go abroad. i have been such in germany, and shall be such in england. if you hadn't already heard, missionaries run on a pretty low budget, primarily based on faith. i'm fine with that. it is how it is. i'm glad for opportunity to trust God and see Him provide.

so, having received wise words from other missionaries, my primary means of fundraising is prayer. prayer is basically my primary means of everything, ideally. whatever i do in my own strength [which generally equates to prayerlessness and stiff-necked-ness] tends to cause me more harm than good, and sometimes i find myself having done so, and reap the consequences. but ideally, walking in the Spirit and praying fervently bear good fruit in the long run. i am a fan of good fruit. so is God. Jesus talked extensively on the subject [John 15, etc].

nevertheless, prayer it was that resulted in a blessing on christmas eve. not even specific prayer. i had imagined such a thing quite vaguely, and cast it aside as impossible. so i prayed generally, because i didn't want to pray over-imaginatively and set myself up for a letdown! here are the gory details.

i need a house [in england apartments are called flats, by the way]. if i am to live in anything beyond a cardboard box beneath an area bridge, it would be wise to incorporate a roommate into my plans, thereby creating lower rent for both of us with greater space to share. there is also the homeyness of having someone else around, which is especially comforting and helpful in a new and unknown land. the funny and altogether believable thing is, i don't want to live with just anyone. i have had well over 20 semester-or-longer roommates in the past seven years. roommates are fearful and/or wonderful creatures. some are pretty nice though.

so i need a roommate [in england they are called flatmates]. this summer i met a few girls in london, thought they were all nice, had a great conversation with one in particular. but alas, she was happily situated in a flat with another girl from the church. not wanting to invite myself to move in as their third wheel/roommate, i prayed on, hoping for someone perhaps almost as nice [or the ability to afford a nice little place of my own]. but she was the one i would have wanted to be my flatmate, had i been given the choice.

several months ensued. february was decided on as my departure from home and arrival in the UK. sounded like a strange month, but trusted that it would work. continued praying for a flat and a flatmate...

christmas eve arrived last week. i talked about this topic with my grandma, expressed that i didn't exactly know where i would live, nor with whom if anyone, but again affirmed that i did trust the Lord to provide the right place for me. she agreed. that having been said, i went upstairs and checked my email.

and there in my inbox was an email from none other than the girl who i'd thought would make a dear friend and a lovely flatmate, telling me that in february [of all months], her contract was up for her current flat, and that her current flatmate would be moving on. and she wondered very graciously if i might consider being her new flatmate?

well, it's been settled since then, and we're still writing back and forth concerning details, and looking forward to our new joint housing venture!

but it's been a great testimony to the power of faithfulness in prayer, and, even moreso, to the all-knowing, all-powerful God who sees a little tiny unspoken request in a girl's heart and without even a word carries it through to completion. it was neither my own faithfulness in praying nor my faithfulness in "finding the right thing to ask for and asking it" that was the solution to this fairly sizable problem in my life- no, no. i'm humbled to say that it really has very little to do with me, besides that it is my life which happens to be in question. God has faithfully seen me through, and i trust that He would have done that regardless of my fervency in prayer.

but i do know that, having trusted the Lord when i knew not the outcome, i am blessed to have come through to the answer having been faithful to commit it to Him in prayer. this gives me a very firm hope that in every other area about which i am praying, He shall also answer in His perfect time, in His perfect way. i shan't stop now, but press on to completion, and pray these things [and people and thoughts and ministries and tiny mustard grains of hope] through. this is the exact reason why Jesus told so many parables, "that men always ought to pray and not lose heart." [Luke 18:1]

so, regardless of your faithfulness or mine, shall we not with renewed fervor continue steadfastly in prayer??

Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving. [Colossians 4:2]

God is for us; who then can be against us?

love, a.

timely spurgeon.

Dec. 27: EVENING. 

"And the LORD shall guide thee continually."

"The Lord shall guide thee." Not an angel, but JEHOVAH shall guide thee. He said He would not go through the wilderness before His people, an angel should go before them to lead them in the way; but Moses said, "If Thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence."

Christian, God has not left you in your earthly pilgrimage to an angel's guidance: He Himself leads the van. You may not see the cloudy, fiery pillar, but Jehovah will never forsake you.

Notice the word shall - "The Lord shall guide thee." How certain this makes it! How sure it is that God will not forsake us! His precious "shalls" and "wills" are better than men's oaths. "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

Then observe the adverb continually. We are not merely to be guided sometimes, but we are to have a perpetual monitor; not occasionally to be left to our own understanding, and so to wander, but we are continually to hear the guiding voice of the Great Shepherd; and if we follow close at His heels, we shall not err, but be led by a right way to a city to dwell in. 

If you have to change your position in life; if you have to emigrate to distant shores; if it should happen that you are cast into poverty, or uplifted suddenly into a more responsible position than the one you now occupy; if you are thrown among strangers, or cast among foes, yet tremble not, for "the Lord shall guide thee continually." There are no dilemmas out of which you shall not be delivered if you live near to God, and your heart be kept warm with holy love.

He goes not amiss who goes in the company of God. Like Enoch, walk with God, and you cannot mistake your road. You have infallible wisdom to direct you, immutable love to comfort you, and eternal power to defend you.

"Jehovah" - mark the word - "Jehovah shall guide thee continually."

-Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Morning and Evening

amen. this so perfectly encouraged me this evening that i felt compelled to write it in my journal, and then type it out for those who may happen to read my blog. it's timely and powerful and so rich in promise. this hope is the anchor of our souls.

good night. -a.

thankful day.

i know it's christmas, not thanksgiving, but i'm thankful.

i'm thankful for my family.
i'm thankful for my home.
i'm thankful for the jigsaw puzzling happening in front of a roaring fire just to my left.
i'm thankful for the sun shining and making our loads and heaps of snow look like diamonds in cool whip.
i'm thankful for a peaceful house. nobody's talking, and we're all content.
i'm thankful for no pressure to be anywhere.
i'm thankful for a humongous table with chinese checkers set up on it.
i'm thankful that later we'll be all talking and laughing around the same table, while enjoying a smorgasbord of delicious food.
i'm thankful that we're all together.

i think christmas is a lot of times about traditions and keeping up appearances. you know, the whole "make sure you get the right gifts and enough gifts and decorate your house just so and have a nice outfit to wear and get the christmas cards out and a bazillion kinds of christmas cookies baked and go to all the christmas parties and see every relative you've ever had and burn all your candles at both ends until you're fried, etc" thing?

pretty sure that isn't what christmas is about.

christmas is about love. God loved the world so much that He ended our eternal separation from Him [caused by our sinfulness] by sending His own Son to earth. He put aside His privileges as God, and lived as a 100% man, although He was 100% God still. He became one of us. but He didn't sin. but He died the worst possible sinner's death, though He didn't deserve to die, thereby paying our debt for being sinners [death]. and then He conquered the grave. and sin and death and hell. [pretty much takes care of all our enemies!] and then He ascended back up to heaven, where He is seated on the right hand of the Father, and daily intercedes on our behalf!

that's a pretty incredible gift. all we have to do is accept that we need it. we need God's grace. we need His forgiveness. we need His love.

and once we accept it, the blessings begin to overflow! not only do we now have a relationship with the Almighty Creator God [who knows us better than we know ourselves, and loves us in spite of ourselves, because He is Good], but we've been given a greater benefit: the Holy Spirit. when we're filled with the Spirit, then He fills us up with His love. and joy. and peace. and patience. and kindness. and goodness. and faithfulness. and gentleness. and self-control. they aren't a checklist for us to perform; they're produced in us as we abide in the Lord and obey His Word.

this is abundant life.

i'm thankful for this abundant, Spirit-filled life.
i'm thankful for an everlasting hope, which is the anchor of my soul.
i'm thankful for so great a love.
i'm thankful for Jesus.

it's probably not His real birthday today [not sure if you knew that].

but it's a good reminder [if we take it] of how good we have it.
real good.

accept His grace. be filled with His Spirit. enjoy the abundant life.
happy christmas, dear friends!
love a.

it's

almost christmas
extremely snowy
nice to have a job
amazing to have nephews
time for bed
.

cafilornia! [sic]

well, i've made a purchase. there's no going back now.

i'm going to california in less than 3 weeks. for 8 days. i'm going to see so many beloved friends i can hardly handle it.

missions conference is first on the agenda. it's going to be amazing. actually, it could very well be overwhelming, with so many people to see and hug and catch up with, and so many coffees to drink, and so much richness and encouragement to soak in, and so many hot springs in which to dip my toes.

i am super excited that my roommate-to-be is none other than the amazing aan-sofie, who is visiting well-nigh half of the european union on her flights back over from ireland! i can't wait to hang out with her!

and i'll get to see her parents, who also double as my adopted parents and dearly loved director and wife from my years in germany!

and i'll get to hang out with my new pastor and his family who are flying in from england!

and i had better be seeing vanessa sanchez!

..and untold numbers beyond those. i have high hopes.

after the conference, i'll finally be making my way up to the famed 805 for a long-awaited visit with my dear friend hannah! she and her husband and adorable daughter will be moving to england [only a few hours from where i'll be] in february, just like me. so blessed to have time with them before we all head out.

oh, so much goodness. i'll get to see the sun, too!!

i am/should.

i should:
be doing laundry.
be wrapping presents.
be sewing presents.

i am:
delightfully contented.
contentfully delighted.
[ps: why is contentfully not a word? it's so descriptive; kind of like thinkative, which must not be confused with thoughtful.]
wearing sweatpants.

i should:
be drinking tea.
be listening to something nice.

in lieu of that, i am:
listening vicariously to radiohead from my basement and daft punk from upstairs. i guess it's a pretty nice compromise.

i am in the midst of:
reading The Cost of Discipleship [Nachfolge auf Deutsch] by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
it is incredible.
you absolutely must read it.
it will change your life, and your faith.
time is short. get real. and read this book.

i should:
be writing letters.
be typing letters on my typewriter.
probably be painting a picture, actually.

i am:
working every day this week. that's seven, in case you wondered.
making dinner tomorrow night.

i should:
be finding said recipe to make for dinner tomorrow night.

i am:
thinking a lot about england.
intrigued that christmas is coming so soon.
living in a very frigid state; i also live in the constant state of having a cold and/or dripping nose.
,however, not sick.

i should:
get up.
plug in my computer who is dying.
get a new guitar at some point.

i am:
stuck.
comfortably uncomfortable.
tempted to just go to bed.

the naughty boy.

we're snowed in today, and a raging blizzard is swirling about our snug home. the window screens have snow leopard spots, and are framed quite nicely with a white vignette. so, having been given a day off with nowhere to go and nowhere to be, i picked up a book that i just began a few days ago, and snuggled up with my blanket, Red, on a big comfy chair in our living room.


the book is A Treasury of Hans Christian Andersen, a thrift store find from this summer. it's delightful! he's so clever, and such a wonderfully interesting storyteller. i've read 6 or 7 stories so far, and laughed outright at points in all of them. 


here is a delightful short story called "The Naughty Boy". this isn't the same translation as i'm reading [i actually prefer Haugaard's version better!], as it sounds a little more archaic; but it works. a little timely wisdom, ne?




A long time ago, there lived an old poet, a thoroughly kind old poet. As he was sitting one evening in his room, a dreadful storm arose without, and the rain streamed down from heaven; but the old poet sat warm and comfortable in his chimney-comer, where the fire blazed and the roasting apple hissed.

"Those who have not a roof over their heads will be wetted to the skin," said the good old poet.

"Oh let me in! Let me in! I am cold, and I'm so wet!" exclaimed suddenly a child that stood crying at the door and knocking for admittance, while the rain poured down, and the wind made all the windows rattle.

"Poor thing!" said the old poet, as he went to open the door. There stood a little boy, quite naked, and the water ran down from his long golden hair; he trembled with cold, and had he not come into a warm room he would most certainly have perished in the frightful tempest.

"Poor child!" said the old poet, as he took the boy by the hand. "Come in, come in, and I will soon restore thee! Thou shalt have wine and roasted apples, for thou art verily a charming child!" And the boy was so really. His eyes were like two bright stars; and although the water trickled down his hair, it waved in beautiful curls. He looked exactly like a little angel, but he was so pale, and his whole body trembled with cold. He had a nice little bow in his hand, but it was quite spoiled by the rain, and the tints of his many-colored arrows ran one into the other.

The old poet seated himself beside his hearth, and took the little fellow on his lap; he squeezed the water out of his dripping hair, warmed his hands between his own, and boiled for him some sweet wine. Then the boy recovered, his cheeks again grew rosy, he jumped down from the lap where he was sitting, and danced round the kind old poet.

"You are a merry fellow," said the old man. "What's your name?"

"My name is Cupid," answered the boy. "Don't you know me? There lies my bow; it shoots well, I can assure you! Look, the weather is now clearing up, and the moon is shining clear again through the window."

"Why, your bow is quite spoiled," said the old poet.

"That were sad indeed," said the boy, and he took the bow in his hand -and examined it on every side. "Oh, it is dry again, and is not hurt at all; the string is quite tight. I will try it directly." And he bent his bow, took aim, and shot an arrow at the old poet, right into his heart. "You see now that my bow was not spoiled," said he laughing; and away he ran.

The naughty boy, to shoot the old poet in that way; he who had taken him into his warm room, who had treated him so kindly, and who had given him warm wine and the very best apples!

The poor poet lay on the earth and wept, for the arrow had really flown into his heart.

"Fie!" said he. "How naughty a boy Cupid is! I will tell all children about him, that they may take care and not play with him, for he will only cause them sorrow and many a heartache."

And all good children to whom he related this story, took great heed of this naughty Cupid; but he made fools of them still, for he is astonishingly cunning. When the university students come from the lectures, he runs beside them in a black coat, and with a book under his arm. It is quite impossible for them to know him, and they walk along with him arm in arm, as if he, too, were a student like themselves; and then, unperceived, he thrusts an arrow to their bosom. When the young maidens come from being examined by the clergyman, or go to church to be confirmed, there he is again close behind them. Yes, he is forever following people. At the play, he sits in the great chandelier and burns in bright flames, so that people think it is really a flame, but they soon discover it is something else. He roves about in the garden of the palace and upon the ramparts: yes, once he even shot your father and mother right in the heart. Ask them only and you will hear what they'll tell you. Oh, he is a naughty boy, that Cupid; you must never have anything to do with him. He is forever running after everybody. Only think, he shot an arrow once at your old grandmother! But that is a long time ago, and it is all past now; however, a thing of that sort she never forgets. Fie, naughty Cupid! But now you know him, and you know, too, how ill-behaved he is!

-Hans Christian Andersen, source

fam bam.

i love my family.

we had a family reunion this weekend. the Swansen Family Christmas Party, to be exact. and there were exactly zero Swansens in attendance!

it's my mom's-side-of-the-family party, and my grandma is one of the original cousins belonging to Grandpa & Grandma [August and Emma, aren't they sweet names??] Swansen.

my great-great-Gma Swansen was legit! i'm going to write a post about her soon. we got to hear the story of the family, and some of the times they went through, and hear how all of us various people were related to one another. my favorite part was when my mom's cousin read excerpts from Emma's diaries, which were primarily about her grand- [and great-grand and great-great-grand] children, with little bits about herself.

she loved the Lord so much!!!!! what an incredible family heritage i have! i was so blessed hearing how she trusted and honored and sought the Lord with her whole heart, and prayed fervently for her 5 daughters and 12 grandchildren and many many others. i know that i am who i am in part because of her prayers. one of my mom's cousins said afterwards, "it's almost shocking to realize just how many people your personal decisions affect. where you live, what you do for a living, who you marry, how you live your life: it all can change a family's history." makes me want to live wisely and humbly and godly. i want to produce much, good, lasting fruit, and leave a good heritage behind.

August and Emma were people with humble beginnings, as a milkman and a maid in Minneapolis, but their lives of faith are still bearing fruit. countless pastors, missionaries, and devoted Christians have been raised up among their offspring. i got to read a little bit for the whole family from Emma's diaries- prayers of faith and trust. my heart echoed her sentiments entirely!

saturday was jam-packed full of fun! it was my dear grandma's 80th birthday, so the Swansens got the celebrating off on the right foot. and boy, did we have good Swedish food. mmm. later that evening, my mom's brothers, one cousin, and my whole family [right on down to the nephews!] went out for yet another delicious meal, and an relaxing evening laughing by the fireplace. it was a very special day.

i can't believe i'll be leaving in a few months. i so treasure this year i've spent in close company with my family again. i know i'm a bit of a globetrotter, but MN will always be "home," and my family will always be my most favorite company. we're great! i hope i have many more seasons of living near them and seeing them regularly. cause you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family! you're stuck with what you've got! and i love mine. :)

it's beginning to look a lot like..

come over and enjoy the peace and quiet with me. tonight it's to the tune of bon iver's "for emma, forever ago".

02 december 10.

put up a cover of a longtime favorite song called "hard to get," by rich mullins. he only did a rough recording of it before he died, and it's wonderful. this song is about not understanding God, but coming to the point of resting in Him anyway, without full comprehension. i love the last line. "i can't see how You're leading me, unless You've led me here, to where i'm lost enough to let myself be led. and so You've been here all along i guess; it's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get." be blessed, and trust Him, even when you don't get Him. He loves us.
love a.

i am.

:listening to The Civil Wars. today is the first day i've heard them. i love them. i love the way their songs twist together like gnarled tree branches and wind. i love their voices. i love the way they stare each other down as they sing. yep, good stuff. bought their ep after getting two free songs on noisetrade, then youtube-stalking them, and then hearing rave reviews from a couple friends. trés agréable.

:thinking about christmas. and loving the fact that i have a whole month in which to savor and enjoy and prepare for it, instead of the usual 3 or 4 days. it's practically an eternity!

:wearing my slippers, which resemble polar bear feet, sans claws.

:pondering light and darkness. this has been a several week ponderment. [ponderosa? just kidding.] we who once were darkness... called out of darkness... into marvelous light... made light... are vessels of light... are light... and therefore oughtn't be darkness anymore... and yet we are in the midst of a broken, crooked perverse world, among whom we shine as lights! and then there's isaiah 58-62. and a myriad of NT references to light and darkness. i'm enthralled. and exhorted. and sobered. eph 4-6. and everywhere else!

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 

[for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth],

finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.

For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.

But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.

Therefore He says: "Awake, you who sleep, arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light."

See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise,

redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. [eph 5:8-17]

and one more passage that's been in my head for days:

Do all things without complaining and disputing,

that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation,

among whom you shine as lights in the world,

holding fast the word of life, 

so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain. [phil 2:14-16]

i want to hold fast the word of life!!!!!! i don't want to get to the end and see that i've run in vain or labored in vain, by letting loose my grip upon the word of life. i need more of God's Word every day. and the more of it i absorb, the more i love it, the more understanding i have of it, and the more fruit i see the Spirit producing in my life, without any effort of my own! let's walk in the light.

:enjoying the snow in all its glory. i haven't gone out to play in it yet; i hope to soon. i mean, why not?? when appropriately dressed, wintertime is the most exhilarating season in which to partake in outdoor activities.. as long as the windchill remains tasteful.

:planning on watching Elf in the very near future.

:unsure about many things in the near and distant future, and blissfully happy and content nonetheless! i attribute it to peace that passes understanding, and some pretty faithful guarding of the heart and mind by my Savior, Christ Jesus. not knowing much has never felt so good! whatever comes, i know it'll be for the best.

:inspired to make a very lovely craft tomorrow!

:still really digging the national. oh MAN can he sing deep. check out "bloodbuzz ohio" and "apartment story". their songs are somewhat similar enough so i haven't yet discerned my faves beyond those. it's great grey day background music though. we'll stay inside till somebody finds us...

:going to go tinker with the sewing machine for a while.

mit lieb.

this hope we have as an anchor to our soul.

Approach, my soul, the mercy seat,
Where Jesus answers prayer;
There humbly fall before His feet,
For none can perish there.

Thy promise is my only plea,
With this I venture nigh;
Thou callest burdened souls to Thee,
And such, O Lord, am I.

Bowed down beneath a load of sin,
By Satan sorely pressed,
By war without and fears within,
I come to Thee for rest.

Be Thou my Shield and hiding Place,
That, sheltered by Thy side,
I may my fierce accuser face,
And tell him Thou hast died!

O wondrous love! to bleed and die,
To bear the cross and shame,
That guilty sinners, such as I,
Might plead Thy gracious Name.

“Poor tempest-tossèd soul, be still;
My promised grace receive”;
’Tis Jesus speaks—I must, I will,
I can, I do believe.

-John Newton, 1779

happy.

that my family is all together.
that i am with them.
that it's thanksgiving.
that i have a great job.
that i have the night off.
that thanksgiving food is the best ever when cooked by my mom [and g-ma and sis-in-law].
that the snow is crunchy outside.
that our house is snug and warm.
that i am so very very blessed.
that i have such wonderful friends.
that i'm saved, redeemed, and loved by a Faithful, Everlasting, Grace-abounding God.
that i know whom i have believed.
that i have a hope and a future.
that there's leftovers in the fridge.
that squash is so delicious.
that my platelets are up to 300k!
that i have so very, very much to be thankful for.
love!

ta-da!

bike song's up. check it out, yeah?

a tisket.

my platelets are up to 223,000 as of today! that means less pills to take and 5 whole days till i have to get labs done again. annie's a happy girl.

last night i made ginger-spice cookies, in case you wondered what became of the hand conundrum.

and i also worked on a song that sprung into my mind this summer after a mildly catastrophic event, which reminded me of a similar personal event in my own life, several years past. between last night and this afternoon/evening, it has been tweaked, lyric-finalized, chord-finalized, roughly recorded, and sent on to the experiencer of said former event for pre-screening, and then it'll be up on my pv. i hope you'll like it. it's good to remember and give thanks.

i have drank many various kinds of tea in the last two days, including: green mixed berry, peach passion something or other, palais royale which is german and very varied in berries, a really awful orange spice that began well and plummeted forthwith, and several thermoses of my mother's homemade minty blend. there's something so wonderful about a pot of tea. i really love yorkshire, earl grey, lady grey, and other caffeinated teas as well [especially with a shot of milk, delicious], but herbal's been my primary focus of late.

i also adore cinnamon right now. but i never could do the Big Red thing. it's gotta be legit cinnamon. we ran out last night [the cookies]. so, it was with heavy heart i fixed my oatmeal this morning, sans cinnamon. :(

it is so cozy and warm in my basement [my current location]. i have tea, my old keyboard, my computer, a semi-comfortable stool and a very comfortable chair [sitting on the stool for ease of playing/typing, gazing longingly at comfortable chair], and brand new carpet to boot.

maybe i'll camp down here tonight..

cozy day.

today is the first day in a long time that my afternoon priority has been something other than "nap." it's really pretty wondrous to experience being a little more spunky than usual. but it's sort of cozy-spunky. sort of as an added benefit, i'm ready to get my crafty on.

i got a beautiful letter from a dear friend today, in which she reminisced a bit about old times we had on Nightingale Way, sipping tea, enjoying the silence of a grey day like this, talking or not talking, praying, cleaning up, making a mess in the kitchen. just reading the letter made me rummage through my sock drawer to find my Echte-Deutsche-Oma-Socken [socks made by a real German grandma], because i always had to borrow some woolly goods to warm my soggy feet after a drippy uphill trot.

so, while neither of us have the opportunity to go back in time and over the sea to revisit that peaceful street, i kind of got inspired again. life's been busy lately. i get so many phone calls, it's almost overwhelming [i'm a 4 phone calls per year type girl, whether i need to or not]. and these are all from my recent explosion in acquaintance with medical professionals. i'm feeling ok in general, for which i am truly grateful. but being sick takes time, as do working and sleeping and playing with nephews and driving around the prairie for hours on end.

so now it's time for that loveliest of questions, "what shall i do with these hands You've given me?" i've had a bit of a dry spell, creatively speaking. sort of. i go in spurts. i read about another creative person [musician/artist/writer] who couldn't really do more than one "medium" at a time- she'd go through a painting season, and later a writing season, and then a music season. i was grateful to read that. i've loosened up a lot on self-expectation and over-achieving-eager-beaver-ness, but i still feel the need to achieve sometimes. i think we all do.

anyway, the most recent season has been one of hearing and learning new music. and also of playing classical [of course]; i find that the dip into colder temperatures has made me really crave bach and handel and other more baroque composers. [i was wild about the romantic period this fall.] i play some of these baroque pieces and take an imaginative trip into a chilly cathedral and soak in the ambience. i'm not that big on cathedrals, but my heart will skip a few beats upon hearing a good pipe organ. and i can't help but love bach's heart. and the way his mind worked. and the way his hands played.

it's been a season of reading and pondering and reading and praying and taking a proverbial bath in Scripture. so strong are the promises. and they all fit together so perfectly. the Word is living and active in my life- are you letting it transform your mind? let's be washed in the water of the Word. time is short.

i've missed riding my bike, but walking isn't so bad. it's always good fun to walk as fast as possible, until my hands regain their warmth. but i'll miss my bike. i know i talk about it alot. it was such a peaceful outlet. i love fresh air. and riding fast. and watching the scenes by the bike path change from week to week.

i haven't really even been reading much else lately. i have about 12 half-read books on my bedside table [always]. i like them when i read them. but it isn't really much of a reading season. i started another one yesterday. we'll see how that goes.

it's been a writing season for sure. i guess that has been my creative outlet. maybe you haven't noticed, but words have regained their preeminence on this blog. i probably have some photos to upload. but words are nice.

anyway, getting back to the creative thing, i think i'm ready to be crafty again. i love being crafty. but i am not as craft-prone as some, being of a more painstaking and deliberate nature. i really wish i had learned how to knit socks, because i think it would be a good outlet for my hands. i love using my hands. i have mentioned this before. hands are the best. if i were to lose my hands someday, i know God's grace would supply all my need, but i would miss them something dreadful. i am so thankful God gave us hands.

i like the quietness of this current season. it's chilly and the sun is setting earlier every day and the wind makes your nose run and your cheeks flush, but it's really wonderful to feel winter. i shan't wish for any great storm of snow, but i wish every year for that first-snowfall-night's perfect quietness and wonder and snow-so-quiet-you-can-hear-every-flake-fall. i think when there's peace in our hearts, nearly everything is more lovely.

i might sew something tonight. or make some really delicious cookies. or paint. or something.

but no matter what i do today, it'll be a little slow. no pressure. "sometimes i just sits and thinks, and other times i just sits."

sits-ing is good too.

sweet surrender. [psalm 141:1-2]

Lord i cry to You
help me i pray
give ear to my voice
though my need is great
You are greater still
there is nothing too hard for You

let my prayer be as incense before You

lifting my hands in sweet surrender

let Your love be the fragrance that lingers

here in my heart i am Yours

in sweet surrender

every tear i cry You gather
answering my prayer
and all the mighty things You have done for me
i could never count them all

let my prayer be as incense before You

lifting my hands in sweet surrender

let Your love be the fragrance that lingers

here in my heart i am Yours

in sweet surrender

-mary barrett

p.s. we're up to 69,000!

i have decided.

..that i really especially need a vest. not a camo vest with built-in bullet holders or a blaze orange hunting vest with grouse feathers and blood and cockleburs still attached, or even a life preserver vest for safe canoeing, or a sweater vest like one in which my cousin attends formal functions, or a suit jacket vest a la cummerbund, which, coincidentally, is practically the most enjoyable word to say aloud in the entire english language, or a neon reflector vest a la construction worker or extreme maximal safety man bike rider.

i need a sweet vest. it probably shouldn't be quilted, or smocked or ruched or macraméed, for that matter; and whoever pete is, and why this matters to him i know not, but for pete's sake, how do you spell that last m-word? i decided for the accéntuated e, for overall classiness, and the unaccéntuated e for overall just-to-be-on-the-safe-side-edness. nevertheless, forgive my scatterbrainéd ways, dear pete, but that's not what i want on my vest.

it could feasibly be of some sort of knitted substance; i like knitted. but it has to be good knitted. none of this  i-was-knitted-on-a-machine-a-bazillion-weeks-ago-by-a-robot-who-doesn't-care-about-knitting business, please. i mean, come on. not to be nit-picky, i'm just a little picky about my knits. [dad, i hope you are reading this, because that pun was entirely for your express benefit and good-will.]

moving right along, my vest-of-dreams ought probably be lined with something warm, fuzzy, and cozy. flannel could work, for, as we are all well aware, it is a wonderful fabric of which i am most fond. also, that sort of fuzzy blanket material, of which my dear friend Red [the blanket] is composed, could be a possibility, as long as it isn't too bulky or, well, to put it frankly, too staticky-warm. cozy, yes please. slow-cooker, no thanks. i like my crock pot on the counter.

you know, one of the most admirable traits of vests that i can perceive is that there is no vest with sleeves too short. there is viably a vest that could be perfect for every person in the world. um, mind-blowing?! what a thought. i have discovered the perfect addition to everyone's wardrobe. except for the minuscule [by the way, who knew that word had only one "i" and two "u"s??! i've been enlightened] quandary that practically nobody looks good in vests. but let's not be hasty in judging a book by its cover [which i do on a very regular basis, especially at the thrift store. bad cover, no purchase necessary.]: there very well may be a perfect specimen of perfect clothing article [namely, vest] for every dearly beloved soul in the world. but i think you probably need to discover your own ideal vest. this takes at least half an hour of drowsy sunday afternoon on-couch reminiscence.

other admirable vest traits which i hold in high regard are suitable color choice [drab is absolutely appropriate and also versatile], buttons [bigger is better; toggles are grand; natural substances such as wood or elephant tusk are optimal], length [too short is very embarrassingly noticeable in vest attire, people], and just-the-right-snugness-of-waistband [these things must be pondered, you see] are all key players in this rough-and-tumble game of perfect-vest-choosing-and-appropriately-pulling-off-and-sporting.

i love hyphenation. can you tell?

ok, ok, so the icing on the proverbial cake is the ultimate power vested-in-vests. vested, invested, are you noticing a theme here? vests are great, and should not be feared. the best part of a vest, concluded upon through hours, days, weeks, months, maybe even years of pondering this formidable [english] and formidable [french] subject, is the hood. hoods can make or break the success of many an attempted article of clothing. but hoods can be your best friend.

case in point: it is raining, and you straightened your hair for the first time in a year and a half. you wear your hood. you look amazing.
case also in point: it is cold. your ears are numb. and you have to walk 12 more miles uphill in the bone-chilling wind. your hood saves your skin temperature, improves your overall enjoyment of said 12 miles, and keeps you looking stylish, all whilst blocking the wind.
case thirdly in point: you are in class, and your professor has just said something that you emphatically disagree with. by popping your hood, you reveal your inner disagreement and/or chilliness to said professor, with minimal violence or heated argument involved. just don't fall asleep. or plug in your earbuds.
final digression: you just really want to feel cozy. your mind is unwilling to move on in any direction until you provide coziness. all you need is a hood. close your eyes, soak in the goodness of the hoodness, and move on your merry mindful way.

my vest needs a killer hood. and the epitome of good hoodness is faux fur. every time i see faux fur, i want a vest. crowned and bedecked with a bumper crop of faux fur to cover my crazy crop of hair. it's so cozy, and lion-like, and wind-blocking, and free, and exuberant, and mysterious, and glorious.

and it's another way to avoid wearing the winter coat before its proper season.

blippity blop.

IFB. that is an abbreve [which is an abbreviation for abbreviation] for "it's friday baby." it's something a friend of mine always said in germany, every friday, at the top of her lungs, usually whilst riding her bike and ringing her bell. it kind of became habitual for a large number of us to incorporate this joyous phrase into our weekly vocabulary. [generally we said it on fridays.] it's kind of happy huh?

so i have a mysterious disease called idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura. whoo, doesn't that sound awful? it's not so bad. it means i got a bunch of bruises for no apparent reason, and it also means that i have way less platelets than i ought to have. ie, there are supposed to be 100,000 and i've got about 19,000. that is a difference of 81,000, which sounds fairly significant to me. so i got to start taking some medicine today. not just one or two pills. oh no, i get to take 13 pills a day. all at once. lucky me huh? they taste horrible. but they are small.

i also have been very sleepy this week, which leads to several manifestations, namely napping, and a few interesting word combinations and sudden overcomeness of fatigue. sometimes i can't make decisions and sometimes i forget what i'm doing. but i think that's normal. i think my spellchecker doesn't like that i just said "overcomeness." oh well, it'll get over it.

i was also instructed by my kindly doctor to avoid doing high-risk activities. and i'm not allowed to ride in cars with reckless drivers anymore. bummer. i don't know what my life will look like without those.

in other news, we're getting a snowstorm tomorrow. well, that's the prediction anyhow. did you ever notice how many words can be conjunctured [i can't think of the right word right now] with the word "any"? anybody, anyhow, anywhere, anytime, anything, anyway? anyway, i hope it's nice snow. and not sleet-ice, or to put it more quaintly and/or efficiently, "slice". why don't they call it that anyway?

i was supposed to go to the cities today to see a concert with my friend jacque. we were both pretty stoked to have a friday night activity in which to participate [non-reckless, of course]. but i opted out of it, mostly because of the many hours i'd be driving. i didn't want to become a drowsy driver, if you know what i'm saying. know what i mean, jelly bean? i think that if someone were to call me "jelly bean" in any other setting than the one i just put forth, i'd be slightly embarrassed. probably embarrassed for them and awkward for myself. i am glad that "jelly bean" is not a typical term of endearment.

i keep remembering and then forgetting [blaming that on the platelets] that i have a genuine flannel shirt. it is pretty huge. and red and black. and flannelly. isn't flannel the most comforting fabric you ever felt? i should be wearing it today for flannel friday. maybe i will later.

oh, i forgot to mention that my medicine is supposed to make me extremely awake. oh great. well, i have two new books to read.

continuing on the subject of flannel, if you haven't yet seen the recent Toast catalogue [i think it's called "home" or something], you are definitely going to be doing that as soon as you finish reading this blog. there are so many pairs of flannel pajamas! but they spell them pyjamas. and i am in love with a pair of £69 socks. and there's this thing with a hood that i like too.

i think my last day for a bike ride has come and gone. i'll miss riding my bike. we've spent so many hours together this year, since i got it in april. almost every day we hang out. and we haven't even crashed. i consider that a great accomplishment.

well, lots to be hopeful about. i'm thankful. and i'm waiting for my meds to kick in so i don't have to take the nap i'm about to succumb to. and i see a bird nest out my window.

love a.

favoritos.

here is an off-the-top-of-my head list of my current off-the-charts favourites.

squash. i would eat this every day for every meal. literally. in all honesty, i pretty much do.

blueberries. frozen, then thawed, then eaten in copious amounts. my preferred method of ingesting antioxidants.

thinking you hear a coworker say "copious" when actually she said "miniscule."

words. i have, since beginning to speak at a very early age, always been extremely fond of words. they give me so much joy.

music. this is going to have subcategories.
a. piano: i got to jam on my favorite piano ever this week in california. oh yeah.
b. currently-stuck-in-head-favourite-songs [sub-sub-categories]
-who are we fooling feat. aqualung by brooke fraser. several hours of every day of the past month have been lived to the tune of this song. it's so hopeful and honest and sad and real. and the climax note when brooke sings 'undo' just about undoes me because she's realizing that she can't undo it. ahh.
-restless by audrey assad. clearest voice i can remember hearing. and i'm not gonna lie, the harmony line makes me want to scream it's so great.
-we share our mother's health by the knife. again, another every-day-of-my-life sort of song. mostly because of all the layers together-at-once. this is my roll-down-the-windows-and-drive-33mph-to-the-post-office-and-back song.
-you'll come by hillsong/brooke fraser. just learned it this week, and she wrote in 2007?? where have i been?
-hysteric by the yeah yeah yeahs. i really expressly need a friend named derek. [oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh, it's derek!]
-mountains beyond mountains by arcade fire. the whole album [suburbs] is so enjoyable. i sing this song at work nearly every day. quietly, of course. usually. [i've often imagined the irony of actually experiencing "they heard me singing and they told me to stop / quit those pretentious things and just punch the clock" while i'm singing that specific song]
-um, keep the car running?? what an apt description of my fellow mn citizens. and she plays the hurdy-gurdy. [also by af]
-re:stacks by bon iver. perfect grey day song. crispy realization.
-sort of by ingrid michaelson. what can i say, it's catchy? and it talks about hands? and i love hands?
-the rip by portishead. a new going-to-be-favourite, i think. the fade from guitar to synth is seamless and heart-bursting.
-hard to get by rich mullins. punch-you-in-the-face honest. i think honesty is a theme i appreciate.
-everlasting arms by vicky beeching. every time i hear it i love it again.
c. making subcategories that really only have two points.

going along with the honesty theme, truth is a favorite. it's something i love more every day. especially The Truth. God's Word.

speaking spanish. my guatemalan coworker is helping me learn/putting up with my obstinate practice. pobrecito.

adjusting my english from american to british. examples: spelling it favourite instead of favorite and xx instead of xo.

brooklyn accents. i hung out with two amazing twin sisters from brooklyn this week. they've recently moved to florida. please say that with a brooklyn accent.

love. i love the love with which God loves me. and the love with which He enables me to love. i love so much!

nephews. [always.] we played Swing Rocket last night. totally spontaneous awesome game which lasted probably 20 minutes. that is a long time.

minnesota. i just love this place. but i have recently realized that i no longer hate california. uh oh.

coffee. this is perennial. i brush my teeth a lot to make up for it.

dear friends. i am blessed blessed blessed. i love the people i know. so much.

sunshine. this is one of the greatest loves of my life.

picnics in the park! we're having one now! tschüüüßie!

on winter coats, or "for ashley wirtz."

winter is fast upon us. [before i continue, is that an appropriate english sentence? it seems really german to me.]

we know this because of:
1. the date
2. the increasingly fewer daylight hours
3. the windchill

nevertheless, there is a deep-ceded-seated [thanks mom!] rebellion within my soul at this time of year. it is not violent, it does not effect or even concern others beside myself, nor is it illegal. perhaps it is improper, possibly even stupid, and in all probability lends itself to contracting month-long coughing spells and other forms of ill health [ahem, ashley].

it's more of a stubbornness. against convention. against unwritten law. against the acceptance of winter's arrival.

for it is namely this: ashley wirtz and i refuse to wear our winter coats.

until..... [this part hasn't been previously discussed]...

well, for me, provided that it doesn't get seriously below zero, it's going to be the first legit snowfall. [originally it was until the first of november, but we're golden. why not persist?] until then, i've got a bunch of sweaters, scarves, and mittens,

and i'm not afraid to use them.

and they shall suffice.

and we shall overcome.

and probably we will be particularly grateful for the cozy warmth of our winter coats when we do decide to don them, and we'll be excited to wear them, and it'll be new, and fun, and nice. and our other winter-coat-wearing-since-the-end-of-september friends will be nonplussed about theirs. they won't even realize how warm and cozy their coats truly are. and in the end, as long as ashley gets over that wicked cough of hers, we will be getting the better end of the deal.

to-morrow:

i will arise before 4am.
i will leave the state.
i will fly twice.
i will see about 400 friends.
i will hug a lot of people.
i will be very sleepy.
it will be very hot out.
it will be very nice.
i will do the above 4 items for 3 days.
i will do the above 7 items, with the exception of the immediately above item, on the 4th day.
i will be very tan.
i will be very happy.
i will be very tired.
i will show up at work on the 5th day like nothing happened.
it will be tricky.
but they will notice my sun tan.
and they will give me hugs and high fives.
like i'd been gone for weeks instead of 4 days.
and i'll see another 40 friends.
and my fam.
it will be nice.

i have now blogged 4 days in a row.

as per usual.

Ungeduldigkeit, thy name is andrea.

so, i have been singing german songs all the time recently. ok, well most of the time anyway.

and i would like at some point to do [by that i mean record] a collection [dare i say album?] of german songs, because i miss singing in german that much. that is a lot.

nevertheless, my impatience as a recording artist persists and i have very little commitment to perfection in this area. desire, yes. commitment, no. so, my songs sound pretty much like they are recorded. "live" is an accurate description.

you can hear one of my faves here. [a fave song, not recording] for best enjoyment of german songs like this, move to germany for three years and go to as many german churches as possible whilst learning the language through singing. i also recommend learning some swedish.

HDL.

what i do for fun.

there are things i used to hate

which i now like

in avid measure

they are things which i once scorned

or mocked 

or treated with disdain

they are words like awesome

foods like mushrooms 

and tomatoes

they are things like ponytails

the color blue

and name-brand jeans

and now these things which once i loathed

are everyday

and normal

and i can’t think of much these days

which i really cannot handle.

where i live and how i love it.

i love the prairie. i love 180 degrees of sky. i love the fall bareness of field and pale depth of tone. i love how vibrant the setting sun makes everything. i love the richness of textures, the silhouettes of trees, the flocks of blackbirds, the patches of yellow and red along the roadsides. i love the grey and imminent snow clouds. i love staring out the window and straining to see the flakes as they begin to fly about. i love the first snowfall. i love its quiet stillness. i love that you can hear it snowing. i love walking fast and seeing my breath and feeling the tingle in my legs and hands as i rush to warm them up. i love rosy cheeks and fogged up glasses upon entering the house. as much as i love the brightness and blueness of summer, i love the greyness of november. i love how the wind swirls. i love the smell of leaves and woodsmoke. i love digging blankets out of my closet, woolen socks out of my drawer, and mittens out my basket. i love traipsing around in boots. i love smelling each scarf as i wrap it snugly around my neck for the first time. i love popping my collar and stuffing my hands in my pockets and leaning into the wind. i love candy pumpkins and hot apple cider and homemade popcorn, no matter the tremendous mess made in the effort, and the burnt old maids at the bottom of the pan. i love wind-tossed lion hair. i love flannel. i love the warmth of hugging my nephews, and rubbing red hands until they are warm. i love stocking hats that fall over eyes. i don't exactly love it, but staticky hat hair is strangely nostalgic. i love the stillness of a frosty morning. i love the twilight when the very first stars transform the velvety backdrop from navy to pitch. i love noticing evergreens as if for the first time. i love happy farmers. i love pumpkin and cranberry everything. i love squash. i love naps burrowed under a down comforter on drowsy days, and deciding several times that a few more minutes are quite acceptable. i love thankful trees, and want to hang one up at work. i love thanksgiving. i love how belonging it makes one feel. i love hand turkeys and gourds and especially vast fields be-specked with sweet smelling haybales. and i love crispy tangy juicy honeycrisp apples. i think i really love this part of fall because it means the near-end of a season. winter is at hand. the autumn busyness has almost receded. the time of stillness and whiteness and family and rest is not out of reach.

..

this is my first fall home in three years. i decided one year ago tomorrow that i'd be finishing my responsibilities at the bible college in germany and coming home. for the ensuing month, i was a bit of an emotional train-wreck, but i've not once regretted or despised my departure. it was time. seasons of life are as faithful and natural as the orbit of this earth around the sun. they can't be fought or delayed or resisted. they just happen. and they're good. i'm looking forward to another change of season after this next quarter of a year. in some ways i'm ready and eager and hopeful. in other ways i'm seeing the things-now-stable as the transients that they are. i am, to be very candid, with part of me wishing that my life didn't change so drastically every year. and yet, i am trusting and leaning on Everlasting Arms, and walking in paths prepared before the beginning of time. i'm savoring the slow songs, in a manner of speaking. my life is but a vapor, and yet each day is vivid and alive and joyful and wonderful. and change is not to be dreaded. i feel as if it takes me a fairly long time to really get settled somewhere, and feel so here and now. but i choose not to take what i know, what i see, what i feel. i have often begged the Lord to show me "what to do with these hands You've given me" and a task lies ahead. much is unknown; yet you and i, dear friend, are called not to know the future nor even fully comprehend the present, but are rather given the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of our understanding being enlightened. we know the hope of His calling, the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe. this i know, because God is for me. but know that the Lord has set apart for Himself him who is godly; the Lord will hear when I call to Him. Abraham did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. we know Him. and He knows us. and He directs our path. He doesn't do it to get the better of us; what He does is done in faithfulness and out of pure, everlasting, merciful love. God is for us. i believe that. and i love Him because He first loved me. it's not really about the place or the stuff or the people or the work at all. it's about Him loving me, and me learning to receive it and reciprocate it back to Him and to others. it's about the heart. it's a lifelong lesson. but it's pretty all-encompassing. little things seem littler. trust and obey. you'll be happy in Jesus.

..

bright days lie nevertheless ahead. looking forward to fellowship and worship and refreshing next week in california. i really love my job right now, and i'm enjoying slowly getting to know the people in my church. it's a sweet church. i love my family and spend most waking moments in company of at least one brother or parent or nephew. music and laughter are constant in this house, and silence is a valuable, yet not unknown, commodity. i am a very blessed girl. i'm learning a lot. old lessons and new lessons. it's good. it's good to be content. and it's good to be growing.

..

We are continually retreating behind our limitations and saying, "Thus far and no farther can I go." 

God is ever laying His hand upon us and thrusting us out into the open, saying, 

"You can be more than you are; you must be more than you are."

-springs in the valley, october 28

24 hour blur.

in the last 24 hours [plus an extra for recuperation], i have:

driven to the twin cities. [3.5 hours]
gotten my hair cut and straightened. it stays. this is absolutely astonishing to me. [1.5 hours]
eaten authentic thai food [green curry with mock duck, and strange little lettuce wraps], served by a very caucasian-aspiring-to-be=asian. [1.5 hours]
gotten somewhat lost in downtown neighborhoods. [.25 hour]
conquered lostness and found destination [.5 hour]
hung out with g-ma: talked, slept, ate breakfast [10.5 hours]
attended an all-mozart concert sans principal flautist, whose dislocated finger had not yet been relocated. [1.5 hours]
had döner at a hole in the wall turkish joint. in america. go figure. still can't beat botan mama. [1 hour]
drove home. [3.5 hours]

i also wore cowboy boots, saw two fun friends, listened to the near entirety of my ipod, and watched the moon rise. also, there was a combine filling up a grain truck in the same exact field at the same exact time both days.

good night.

there are sights to be seen.

and tastes to be tasted.

mini ciabattas were the project of the morn, and were served steaming hot [see the steam?]

with german nutella, of course.

and then it was off! into the great outdoors.

last full rose of the season.

rose hips and sapphire skies.

jumble berries.

berries-of-the-lilies-of-the-valley [i didn't know these existed!]

hips and shadows.

suz.

mums hiding beneath the peony leaves.

c-h-r-y-s-a-n-t-h-E-m-u-m.

happy.

tasty leaves.

danglers.

fall is pretty nice, after all.

laundry basket.

i have a remarkable laundry basket.
my laundry basket is an inspiration to my life.

it does not have any broken, sharp, protruding edges.
it does not have the typical finger-slicing-waffle-graph siding.
it does not have handles which severely impede circulation.

it is sturdy, yet flexible.

it is roomy, yet not bulky.

it has a white matte finish, with shiny blue handles.

it makes me feel nimble, instead of cumbersome.
it gets me excited about doing laundry.
it is shaped rather like a very large handbag.

i think that is its highest charm.

p.s. did you know that perquisite [not prerequisite, mind you] is the formal version of perk?

as in, "This laundry basket has definitely got its perquisites!"

i will now implement this word into a phrase which i commonly use at work.

"Thank you for calling Perkquisitins, how may I help you?"

..i wonder if my laundry is done yet?

to-day.

today's nice.

i woke up at 5:55am, and did not hit snooze.
i worked all morning, and it was good.
i had an omelet for lunch, which is very, very atypical.

it was 80-some degrees out.
it is october 9th.
things like this make me ganz froh.

i went for a bike ride.

i got a new camera.
it's an s90.
it's amazing.

i still like nikon in general.
canon had what i needed.
brother is also ganz froh.

translated directly, ganz froh means "completely gladly."

i'm going to california in three weeks.
my first semester roommate is coming too.
she is from there, but not from there.

my ganz froh bro will also go.
we will see friends.
we will sing songs.

i haven't been to california in three years.

this seems like haiku.
i will end with one more word.
refrigerator.

squash.

actually this post has nothing to do with squashes. but i've seen a few of them lately, as well as these:

p.s. blogger seems to reduce the goodness of these photos.
p.s.s. i ordered a new camera today! sooo excited. good-bye, little s6. you've been shaky but faithful. nevertheless, better things are ahead.